Here let me start from the beginning and tell you the story.
It started at a stake dance in December of 2010. Me and a couple of my good friends from gymnastics decided to go to this stake dance that was up in alpine after a gymnastics meet. Let me just tell you, we could not find this stake dance for anything!! We spent at least a half an hour trying to find it but finally we did. While dancing and messing around with my friends i look over and theres this kid standing there, ha well actually not standing, he was dancing which is why he got my attention so quickly. He was amazing and i was just like oh my gosh WOOWW!! He was tall and super attractive and he could dance. Everyonce and a while during the dance id look over at him just because i couldnt keep my eyes off of him. Then later during the dance me and my two friends were standing there and just my luck the kid i had been secretly looking at all night walks up to us. And let me just tell you my heart was pounding! He started talking to my friend jess and i was like woah and he said hi to me and abbie who was also there and talked to us for a minute then walked away. After he walked away i was like really jess you know him?? How?? and she was like hes my next door neighboor. Really jess really why have you not told me about him before? I asked her his name and she told me and that was the last i saw of him at the dance and then it was over and i went home.
Being the creeper i am i got on facebook and "stalked" him. Yes even though i didnt know the kid i added him and to my surprise he accepted it and that was the beginning, the start of everything. One day on facebook i saw he was on chat so i decided to inform him that he was super attractive! We started talking then he said he had to go and he gave me his number...let me just repeat that..he gave me his number AND told me to text him!! So of course thats exactly what i did. We talked a little bit but what i remember of talking to him the most at first was one day when me and my friend jean went to a basketball game. I was so into talking to him i wasnt paying attention to the game at all!! I was slowly, well more like quickly starting to fall for this guy that i had met once and barley knew. I was really starting to like him. He was soo nice and caring and ahh everything!! We talked about ALOT of stuff that night. I felt like i already knew him..well partly. We talked about my struggle i was going through right then because of my best friend Magi being deported back to argentina in november of that year. And WOAH! small world he knew about that too. He knew magis older brothers real good friend Alyx. It really is a small world. We then got into the conversation of who do you like these days?? this was his response to that question... "well im inlove with this girl _____ but if anything i like you alot" It was somewhere along those lines and im not going to name names. At that moment my heart dropped. I was sad that it wasnt me even though i hardley knew him. But instead of showing it i went off on the well shes a real lucky girl. And she is!! When he asked me the question i replyed with oh just this kid named alex.. and he was like me alex?? and of course it was him!! Unfortunatly i was already "going out" with this other kid. So right when we got off the bus from coming back from the football game i called him and said its just not going to work. Ya i broke up with this kid ive known for 4 years for someone i knew for only a couple days. And i felt like it was right thing to do.
Me and him started to get to know each other really well..Within about a week or two we knew so so much about each other its ridiculous. I felt like i had known him for my whole life. I felt so close to him. We talked everyday for hours and hours and he was soo soo sweet and caring. We finally hung out for the first time at my friend jess's house. We couldnt do much because he had a concusion. But i remember absolutly everything we did and how everything went. I remember every single time we have hung out and everything weve done. For a while because of his concusion he couldnt do anything and i hadnt talked to him forever and we hadnt hung out forever and i just missed him. Then one day after gym we walked to his house and i saw him and i didnt want to leave. I was remembering what it was like to be around him and how it made me feel...i didnt want to leave that moment. I could have stayed there forever. but then i had to go. I remember getting home and walking into my house and i just fell into my mom and started bawling because i missed him soo much. thats all i could say to her is "i miss alex..." I just sat there and cried because i missed him soo much.
Alex was the most amazing person i had ever met. He is the most caring most sweetest person i know. Hes understanding and he always..ALWAYS seemed to be there for me for what ever i needed. He always knew exactly what to say. The smallest things he would say just made my day. Being around him felt just right..like finally i was doing something right. I trusted him with my life. I trusted him more than i have ever trusted anyone ever before. I looked up to him soo much. I wanted to be just like him. He kept me doing what i was suppose to be doing and he was doing what he was suppose to be doing. He knew how to treat people right and he didnt judge. I learned soo much from him its unimaginable. He was always there just to talk. To be honest hearing his voice made my entire day. He made me soo happy. You could tell a difference in me when i had been around him and i hadnt. He was my best friend. I could tell him anything. He meant the world to me. I would do anything for him. When he was hurting or something was wrong i felt like i had to do something to make it better. I needed to do everything possible to help him or i felt guilty. Honestly he was a blessing for me. He was exactly what i needed in my life, expecially with what i was going through. He knew exactly to help. I cant even express how much he has done for me...and how much he meant to me...
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| Me, Alex and Jean. Love them to death! Definatly had the best times with them! |
All the sudden things started to happen and i was heart broken. I was lied to. I was crushed. Things happend that hurt me. It got to the point where i didnt want to do anything. I just sat and cried...That was me for countless days... This went on for a while and then i said somethings i sure do regret. I didnt think that just that one word could hurt him so bad. One word hurt him so bad and knowing how bad that hurt him made me feel terrible. This happend on and off for a long time. Then things went down hill from there...not just like down hill but its like we were on a high-speed train going down hill and all the sudden we were at the bottom of the hill and it was over and everything was done and gone. It was like i was kicked off the train and watched him leave on it... We had been fighting a bunch on and off and just started not getting along it was soo hard for me. Then one day he said to me something along the lines of your the most self center spoiled brat i have ever met and a bunch of other stuff. That ripped me apart because he was about the only one who hasnt said that to me and i thought he never would. We had always said we would always be there for each other. But i saw that coming to an end. A while after that had happend he started talking to me a little bit again but then all the sudden i get a text that says "I dont like you cuz your a liar, you hurt me, soo much drama and a hypocrite. dont reply" Reading that once again crushed me. At that point i knew i had screwed up it was done,over with..for reals this time. I had just lost the person that meant the most to me in my life. I just sat there and stared at my phone not knowing how to deal with this...At that point i realized i really did love him. i had said it before but i really did love him.
I had to wait for everything to be gone to realize that i had the best thing right infront of me. I had taken him for granted...and that was the BIGGEST mistake of my life. Because of it i lost my best friend, the person who was always there for me who i cared so much about. He was gone. And i had to realize that and i had to make myself move on and try and forget about the past. If i could have taken everything back i would but i couldnt and i had to deal with my mistakes and what happend because of them and the way i was. So i tried to go on with life and it slowly started to get a little bit easier. But not one day went by without thinking about him and all the amazing things he had done for me. When i said not ONE day went by without thinking about him thats exactly what i meant...I really didnt go one single day without having some thought about him. But i was moving on and was trying to forget. The moving on part was going okay but i couldnt do ANYTHING to forget. Nothing i did would make me forget about the person who was everything to me.
A couple weeks ago my phone rang and it was him. My heart dropped and i answered the phone. I heard his voice and an instant smile crossed my face and i couldnt stop smiling. I was so happy,it was the happiest i had felt in a while. i cant even explain it. He asked how i was doing and if i was doing any better and that he was just checking up on me. I cant even tell you how much just that simple phone call meant to me. I realized he really did still care about me. After hanging up the phone instant tears came..but not because i was sad. it was because i was happy. I once again went to my mom and all i could say was " I miss alex..." thats the only thing i could say because thats all it was...i missed him soo much.
Today i was at a football game and i turned and saw him. No one knows how happy i was to see him!! i ran and gave him a hug and im pretty sure i almost broke my nose because it slammed into his chest so my eyes were watering...to be honest half of it was because i was so happy to see him. While at the same time of being so happy because i saw him after so long of not seeing him i was also sad...once again it was i miss alex...i miss hanging around him and being with him. Being his best friend. It was hard to see him and know things were completely different and would probably never be the same again.
Alex...hes everything to me and i still care soo much about him. He will always be my best friend and still always here for him for what ever he needs...I love him to death..I just wish things werent so differnt...i wish i wouldnt have taken such an amazing person for granted.
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